Lessons From a Smee
by scathachswift13
Summary: As our favorite smee claims to have courting talents, he wishes greatly to share them with all... by teaching an official class at Rowan. Enjoy this hilarious fic staring our limbless friend!
1. Chapter 1

_AN: Hello! This is my first sequenced story of The Tapestry. I'll do my best to post a chapter at least weakly, unlike my previous habits. Please follow, favorite and review this story, as those things are what motivate me to write. I accept critical reviews, though I prefer them stated politely. Thank you and happy reading!_

It wasn't a typical day at Rowan. Peace has returned to Rowan temporarily, though the school wasn't exactly as you might call _tranquil_. No, Prusias wasn't resurrected, nor did Astaroth cause troublesome chaos. The reason peace had fled, though queerly, was because Toby (yes, the smee) had been having an argument with the Director, and it was rather incorrigible.

"I deserve to teach at this school! If I won't, this shall never ever be much of an academy!", exclaimed Toby.

"My apologies, Toby, but your "class" is rather… irrelevant to the students.", replied Ms. Ritcher.

"You think that a class teaching all about COURTING is irrelevant?!", argued Toby, "If you want to know what _truly_ is irrelevant, it would obviously be Mathematics! How is math even applied to magic!?"

"Though majority of our student population would ag–"

"Ha! Even _you_ yourself agree to my factual arguement! Then it's settled, Courting is officially replacing lame Mathematics!"

"Toby,",continued Ms. Ritcher, "what I was sharing previously was that though our student population might possibly agree with you, math is always necessary. Math is in cooking, students need math to avoid tardiness and money involves quite a great deal of math."

"Ms. Ritcher, if you actually think that I, the ever-so-great Toby shall lose a debate, you shall be standing corrected quite soon. Besides, my question is still rather... unanswered. Goodbye!", grunted our favorite smee as he stormed swiftly outside Ms. Ritcher's office in the form of a dewdrop fairy. Yes, Ms. Ritcher was previously debating with a magical "dewdrop fairy".

As the minute fairy sped out to the hall, our protagonist, Max McDaniels caught his (or her, as he was taking the shape of a _female _fairy) eye.

"So, Toby, was it triumphant?", inquired Max.

"You think I, the marvelous me, failed?! How peasant-like of you!", scoffed Toby.

"So Courting is officially a subject?!", grinned Max.

"Not currently, but it SHALL become one immediately!",boasted Toby as he/she flew to the Sanctuary.

Max chuckled at the thought of an argument with the Director and Toby's queer and stuck-up personality. With that, Max realized the late hour and headed to The Observatory to rest his eyelids. He was excited for the hilarious "chaos" the little smee could create.

* * *

The next morning, Max awoke to an extremely loud sequence of knocks on his door. Groaning, he opened it up and had his eyes had widened swiftly afterwards.

"Mr. McDaniels! What wretched filth you are!", gasped the gigantic shedu.

"Ahhh...", yawned Max McDaniels, "Wh-who are you...?"

"I am the (with the ee sound) amazing smee, of course!", grinned the shedu in a matter-o'-fact tone, "Gather 'round your friends at right outside the Director's office at 12 o' clock noon, sharp. You shall learn the art of courting women!"

"Um... sure...Zzzzzz", dozed Max. Apparently, he was too sleepy for even the supposed 'marvelous' smee.

"Courting class will be utmost amazing.", said Toby, not noticing his lazy companion, "I shall await your presence, together with the rest of Rowan. Farewell!"

Max suddenly awoke, though a little too late. Maybe a Courting class would be wonderful, most especially if it would replace horrific Mathematics, he thought. However, the mere thought of Toby at the center of the classroom with over 20 lovebirds blew Max's mind. Max was certain Toby assembling a colossal bunch of students was trouble, even more when Toby was planning lead a miniature "revolution". Max was marveling about loads of things, but he just realized something. Of all creatures, why was he a shedu? Was he going to sneak into The Archives?


	2. Chapter 2

**_AN: Hello! This is the second chapter of Toby's little experiment. I'm doing my best to update as frequently as possible. Lo and behold, chapter 2!_**

Max decided not to render his friends to be benefited by Toby. Unfortunately, when he had reached the Sanctuary to spy on Toby's plan, the whole school was already there.

"Math is irrelevant to you younglings!", exclaimed Toby. He was so enthusiastic and convincing that even the charges wooed in agreement.

"Let's head to the Director's office and convince her to replace Mathematics with Toby's desire, Courting class!", cheered a 4th year boy, possibly specializing in firecraft. With that having been said, the colossal crowd rampaged out of the Sanctuary and to Ms. Ritcher's office with our favorite smee (in his regular shape) being carried by a girl in the sixth year.

Max was flabbergasted when he saw even some charges running swiftly after their stewards, joining them in the miniature revolt. Max was dumbfounded, thinking that all that was impossible. However, something had struck his brain. Toby must've ventured into The Archives and brought back some magic with him.

Having remembering Toby earlier that day as a shedu, he zipped through the crowd, possibly Amplifying, to inform the Director of his usag. Fortunately, he reached Richter's office before Toby's many fans did. Unfortunately, when he opened the door, Ms. Richter was reading a contract.

"I, Gabrielle Richter approve of Sir Olaf's decision of starting a new class, Courting, in place of Mathematics.", she read aloud, signing at the bottom. As horrified as Max seemed, he was actually elated on the inside, having Mathematics gone.

"Umm, Ms. Richter, is that official?", inquired Max.

"Hmm? What are you walking–ah, no—talking about, Max?"

"The contract you just signed, have you really removed Mathematics?"

"What contract? I must've been in a trance. Oh dea–"

Ms. Richter was then cut off by the incorrigible mob of students outside her office. She then stood up, with a puzzled look on her face and went out her office.

"What is going on?", she demanded.

Suddenly the rambunctious crowd dimmed, as Max elaborated as much as he could recall.

The Director sighed at Max's explanation, "Courting…shall be a subject, but Mathematics shall still be a part of the curriculum."

The crowd wailed and groaned at her last statement, but some still seemed overjoyed by her first. Toby, on the other hand, was nowhere to be found. However, Max felt a piece of paper drop on his head, and written on it was a note that said:

_Hello, Max! Thank you for the fans! I'm here in the classroom, preparing. You get to be in my first class. How exciting!_

_Sincerely,  
Sir Olaf_

**_AN: I hoped you enjoyed this fic! Please give suggestions on how you would prefer his classes being conducted through a review. As much as possible, I'd like s'mores, not flames nor marshmallows. Thank you!_**


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